The Goops books, originally published between and , were created by the artist, Goops and How to Be Them and More Goops and How Not to Be Them are still widely available. Out-of-print titles such as Goops Encyclopedia and. When you ‘ve finished with the Book, At your Conduct take a Look; Ask yourself, upon the Spot, Are you Goop, or are you Not f For, although it’s Fun to See them. Free kindle book and epub digitized and proofread by Project Gutenberg.

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Full text of ” Goops and how to be them: Page i Table Manners I. THE Goops they lick their fingers, And the Goops they lick their knives; They spill their broth on the table- cloth Oh, they lead disgusting lives! The Goops they talk while eating. But gops wash your face twenty times every week, And you don’t do it all with the towel!

The Goops are all dirty, and what do they do? They like to be dirty, and stay so.

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But if you were dirty, you’d wash, wouldn’t you? If you needed a bath, you would themm so! I wonder why it is well-bred. If you must sneeze, to turn your head. Perhaps the reason is because The Goops, they never have such laws! When little brother stubs his toe, Do you look on and laugh?

The greediest Goop would give away The things he didn’t need To share the toys with which you play, That ‘s generous, indeed!

Will they, without being told, Wait anc you, when you are old, Or be heedless, selfish, cold? I hope they ’11 not neglect you! Whose book is that on the chair?

Goops and How to Be Them: A Manual of Manners for Polite Infants Inculcating Many Juvenile Virtues

The knife and the pencils and other utensils, Now how do they come to be there? Did n’t you say they were borrowed? You’d better take back just a few! If you lent your playthings, I think you would say things If no one returned them to you! My head ‘s so full of toys and such, I can’t remember very much! When you are older, You’ll find this is true; You ‘d better be careful To make Books like you! The girl who counts her hundreds very fairly, when she’s “it” Who doesn’t peep or listen, nor turn around a bit, I’m sure she’s not a Goop, in fact, she’s quite the opposite!


When mother bade him stop t play, Then ” Why?

Goops and How to Be Them by Gelett Burgess – Free Ebook

He always made the same reply. When bed-time comes, it’s time for you To stop, for when you ‘re yawning, You should be dreaming what you’ll do When it’s to-morrow morning. Don’t you think it is a shame? Are the Goops the ones to blame? Did eb ever catch them playing at their horrid little games?

But think of trying To keep from crying, When you’re hungry and tired and cross You couldn’t do that, of course!

Do you sharpen pencils, Ever, on the floor? What becomes of orange- peels And your apple-core? Can you blameyour mother If she looks severe.

When she says, “It looks to me As if the Goops were here”? So study your best Till it’s time for a rest, The clock will go fast, if you let it! The children point, and stare. He went where mother had forbid, And said he “didrit care!

He made his mother cry The children whoop “You are a Goop! And both would use such words as these: Sir” and ” If ‘you please ;” Not only just at home, you know, But everywhere that they should go. When goopss pay a visit, never grumble or complain, Try to be so affable they ’11 want you there again ; Don’t forget the older ones, your hostess least of all, When you ‘re leaving tell her you have had a pleasant call!


The Goops do this, and they do more, They peep and listen at the door! They open bottles of cologne, And feel of parcels not their own! Tyem there are many stupid folks Who do not care for children’s jokes.

I’ll tell you why. Willy, he owned up to it, And didn’t tell a liel Willy told his mother Before she found it out He said: But when you ‘re really nicely dressed, Be careful of your Sunday Best! You must not crawl upon your knees; Be careful of your elbows, please! If you ask a Goop to go and post a letter, Or to run upon an errand, how they act!

But somehow I imagine you are better, And you try to go, and cry to go, in fact! Kiss me, and promise you will! Lead them to the barrack-box, Make them carry all your blocks Teach your doll to go to bed, Not to lie about instead; Tell her she must clear away Everything she’s used to-day. All your playthings and your toys Must be trained like girls and boys! Are you cautious and discreet? Do you look about for horses When your little brother crosses? She will think I can’t be trusted, And she’ll say that she’s disgusted!

When ‘t is time to go to school, Do you fancy you are ill? Oh, be very cautious, please, I can tell by signs like these You have got the Goop Disease! They like a sled br Winter, In Summer ’tis a kite; But dolls are found the whole year round And every day and night! If you try it, I declare. When you too Virtue, Do it with a laugh!